I’m Such a Non-Conformist!
Well that’s a lie.
Lately, I’ve realized that my unfortunate lack of cable television, I have missed out on who many actors, actresses, singers, and bands are. I have missed out on stupid television and movies. Hell, I’ve missed out on internet things and I’m almost always online.
However, I am very into mainstream musicians. I don’t have a lot of friends who are into mainstream music or heavy metal and metal in general. In fact, it seems my friends are more:
- Indie music I’ve never heard
- Japanese musicians
- Anime songs
- Classic rock
- Underground rappers I don’t know
I like random indie movies that don’t get much attention and dramas that seem to pass them. I love the old school. They love the new school (although we agree on Disney). For instance: all my friends love Avatar and I thought it was mediocre at best.
They play video games, read comics and manga and watch anime. I personally don’t give any of those things a second thought. For me to read a manga/comic or watch anime, it has to REALLY intrigue me or be funny.
Most of my friends watch cartoons and Disney and Nick still. I gave those up about…five years ago?
I prefer Discovery Channel and maybe Fox, NBC, and MTV2, but I don’t have cable. I probably wouldn’t watch TV anyways if I had cable.
This just makes me feel left out. I feel so out of touch when my friend start raving about a singer or movie or band and I can’t join in. I can’t come in with my opinion about and anime or manga. I hardly get time to read, but when I do, I’m never reading the books everyone else is reading, it seems.
I know I sound like I’m whining and making a big deal out of nothing, but I just don’t like being so outcast from information.
Well, I do.
Deep down inside of me, I love the fact that I’d rather surf YouTube than TV anyday. I love that I’d rather read The Week magazine or some random novel from way back when or an adult novel. I love that I listen to music with a wide and diverse fanbase as well as music no one knows about, including the indie listening friends of mine. I do love that the only games I play are on my iPhone.
I feel special. But I also feel lonely. Another sign of teenage years?
Avatar Wasted My Money and Yet…Didn’t?
Now I don’t like going into a movie blind because I want to know if I’m paying for something worth my time and funds, so when reviewing Avatar, I frequently saw two sides:
“This movie is incredible! The images are spectacular! You really get into the movie! This will change your perspective on life!”
And…
“This is the most overused story line, plot, characters, and generally just weak as a story.”
My personal favorite comes from Doug Walker’s Bum Review of Avatar: “Pretty images + lame story = pretty lame.”
Now I like to be fair, so I’m listing what I really enjoyed about the movie and at the same time what I hated.
The characters and technology. I grew attached to the scientists and the Na’avi, while despising the military. I love three-dimensional characters, so watching Jake Sulley transform from a Marine into a “giant, blue, smurffy cat” as Doug Walker put it, was awesome. However, my parents are Marines and so to be hating the Marines really struck me hard. I felt as if I was betraying my mother and father. My own mother said, “It would take more than three months to change the mind of a Marine.”
Hallelujiah mother.
I couldn’t believe that in the future, America would still be invading other country’s, destroying the land, attempting to assimilate the natives into American culture, and basically raping the land of resources. And couldn’t Cameron get more creative than Unobtanium? Seriously. Maybe it’s just the Latin major in me and analytical side pissing fury, but I hate lame plot holes and lines. Unobtanium is so cheap, I felt insulted that he would sit there and name it something so lame. Why not give it a Na’avi name? Ask the people what they call it!
Also in regards to characters, is America in total anarchy? Don’t you need congress’s permission to invade, start a war, and rob someone of their stuff? Guess not in the future. All throughout the deforestation and destruction scenes, I just kept asking myself, “Where’s the president?”
Why does the general get so emotionally attached to killing and destroying that he risked dying of asphixiation from being unable to breathe their atmosphere?
If the people weren’t moving, why weren’t more diplomatic means taken?
Because it’s a different planet? I refuse to believe humans are so full of themselves that they could honestly disregard the life of humans or felinoid blue giant people.
I really dug the technology that they used though. That was more impressive than the 3-D I spent an extra $3.50 on to see. I really felt like the director of photography got insulted by throwing 3-D on this, because it didn’t help at all. Okay so the planet is pretty and their faces are glittery. Whoo. They look like every indigenous tribe to ever exist all mixed into one, painted blue, given kitty-features, increased height and strength and long braids with super-connectivity capabilities.
Basically, Pandora is a giant brain and every thing living is just a neuron and synapse. Kill some giant trees and you cause brain damage. Get it?
Apparently not the “big bad military and big bad corporation.”
Let’s stop beating up on the military and big business. I know it’s popular to hate America and humans because “we are the cause of a world gone” wrong. Yeah, yeah okay. I get it. White man comes in and exploits the natives for all they’re worth. America is evil. Republicans suck. Scientists are better and in the know. Yay liberals.
Seriously. The characters are likeable because they’re recognizable. This story is so cliche when you think about it, you know what’s going to happen as soon as you see it start. The general has a Texas drawl, is an old, white male and is bent on destruction. The business owner wants his money at any cost and is a sarcastic jerk. The scientists are right and nerdy looking. Jake is bad-guy-gone-good. Figure out the end yet? Well it can’t end on a sad note, now can it?
Well in history, it never ends happy! Unless you count Haiti (and we saw what happened to Haiti. Political unrest anyone?). Actually, Greece overcame Persian invasion. Then, the Romans came in. The Romans were invaded by the Goths (who were driven out by power/land hungry Huns), so maybe no one is able to win in the “assimilate a culture” game.
My question is: is Cameron related to some angry indigenous tribes or friends with angry countries America has invaded recently? Because that’s the vibe I got throughout the entire movie. I’m really sad I couldn’t analyze this movie past random bouts of deus ex machina that save Jake from giant blue smurffy cat Zaldana. That’s it as far as analysis goes, and if you think this is a much deeper tale than “evil foreigners wreak havoc on indigenous tribe”, think again. This movie keeps getting compared to classics like Pocahantas, Brave New World, Etc.
I don’t want to sound like I watched this movie lookig for the bad, because I looked for the good. I liked the actors and the hissing on the Na’avis part. That was cute. The people looked cool and their anatomy was different. The language was created with care so that I could actually dissect it as I sat in theater and pick out the word order and grammatical structure. The scoring aided the film in it’s scenes.
I just feel like it became more visual than needed. Don’t get me wrong, I had “Oh snap! Oh snap! Uh uh! Oh no! No!” black people moments through out…as muh as I face-palmed at the cliches. Cameron did more showing than telling and needed something more to make his movie go beyond the usual Pocahantas tale. And if I sound biased, watch this movie and tell me there’s no bias in it.
If you enjoyed this movie, I’m happy for you, because there’s nothing more fulfilling than seeing a good movie. However, I’m not going to see this twice. You couldn’t make me. I never had interest in this movie even before I knew what it was about. It gave me a sharp, head-splitting headache which has dissapated, but my head is still throbbing…almost an hour and a half later.
It didn’t feel like a long film for 3 hours. I was more or less impatient though, waiting for them to get on with what we all know is coming. And everytime someone cursed in the film, it sounded out of place and unnecessary. I forgot this was a serious film and seriously assumed it was for kids. Oops.
So that’s all I have to say. I wasn’t impressed with the 3-D or plot, liked the trivial things more (angry nerd with a machine gun? YES), and have a headache and empty pocket.
James Cameron, I saw The Abyss. It looks like you took the undersea world and made it the skin of the Na’avi in a blue hue. Cheap. The Abyss had more plot and better characterization.
*knocks away cobwebs*
Now why is everyone dying?
Brittany Murphy just died of cardiac arrest, like Michael Jackson and Billy Mays.
Is there something we’re missing here?This can’t be all coincidence and I won’t settle until I get to the bottom of these deaths, including the ones over the summer. This year has been like one big harbinger in our faces and we can’t figure out what it means. It’s like a really big word you don’t know but are too lazy to look up. Goodness me, people, let’s at least try! Is there something they all had in common?
Probably not.
I don’t want to go on a wild DaVinci Code chase but I really don’t feel like everything is as simple as it seems.
Maybe this is all leading up to 2012’s end. Yeah that would be so comforting.
Not really.
Know What? Girls Suck as Much as Guys
Look, I love men and women but I’m not going to lie; I have double-standards for the two. Men must be funny, attractive, physically fit, intelligent, and sexual. Girls must be mentally compatible with me and I’m not big on huge tits or blondes either. I am an admitted chubby-chaser at times, but only certain people.
So guess what? I can criticize women as well as men.
First of all, what the hell is with women constantly being damsels in distress? How about this: quit being stupid and pay attention. Seriously: who walks over sewer grates in stilettoes? You’re just ASKING to get stuck. WTF. And who remembers Daphne from Scooby Doo? Dumb ass hoe. She must have been a strawberry blonde because I swear, even as a child I was sick of her shit.
And make up your mind!!! Women are constantly asking for a nice guy then date an asshole. Guess how many sexy, attractive, slightly badass, nice guys are out there. GUESS. It’s okay, I’ll wait. I can name a bunch off the top of my head right now who are my friends.
Women suck because none of them have a Malcom X gene and the ones who do get stereotyped as butch lesbians. Excuse me? Look, I can take a punch. I only whine when I don’t feel like fighting back right then and there and want one of my guy friends to kick ass. Bitches (“I only call y’all that because I don’t know each of your individual names.” – Katt Williams), STFU about wanting equal shit like men unless you’re prepared to handle it all. More work, more expectations, and getting in a fist fight are common with being a man. So either you like things the way they are – segregated due to being a pansy- of you do something to radicalize the movement. And don’t burn your bras either. We need those because some people…we just need them okay?
I don’t mean to sound like a fem-hater, but damn if this wasn’t pissing me off. Had to be said; I guess I had to be the one to say it.
How to Get the Person You Want
Look. I’ve been in many situations/relationships and I’ve decided that maybe I should share my findings with the rest of the world. Be warned: This is me being completely honest. Results may vary. This is not for everyone. If you are shy/weak/non-confrontational, then you should not follow this advice. Side effects include: worry, panic, failure, hurt, success, joy, a new side of you that you’ve never seen before, and a reputation.
1. Be bold; Look, if you’re at a party and you see the person you totally dressed up for, go flirt with them. This seems like a no-brainer, but believe me, people don’t do this and suffer the consequences. If you don’t make a move as soon as possible and do one thing that leaves an impression on them, they will be free to others. Your one key action doesn’t have to be slutty. It could be a great joke, tale, trick, whatever. Just don’t be random with it, or you’ll seem desperate. What happens if you don’t do this? Well, they could totally ignore you, flirt with someone else, or both. Knowing life, it will be your friend, and a close one at that.
2. Be yourself; Another no-brainer, right? WRONG. WRONG WRONG WRONG. People always forget to be themselves around that special someone and once they’re in a relationship, get mad at the other person for “not understanding.” Dude. Get real. The sooner you do, the better, because you’ll also find someone who is actually interested in YOU. Consequences? The one I just mentioned and a shallow/strained relationship that ends with a bad taste in your mouth.
3. Don’t act like a complete whore, just a flirt; This probably goes along with Tip One, but needs it’s own category. If you act like a whore, then the person you want will treat you like one and no relationship will be founded. If you act like a flirt, then the person you want will want to pursue you. Enough said. Consequences don’t need to be listed; I think you’re smart enough to figure it out.
And that’s it. Seriously. Follow those three rules. I do it, even when I’m not looking for someone. It just establishes a good relationship with a person if you come at them like you actually want to BE with them. They get to know you better and care for you more. Who knows? Sometimes friendships evolve (but it’s best to leave them as such).
Oh hai thur. Apple sucks.
So I sort of let dust settle on my blog, but honestly, I’ve been busy and understimulated. But now with myy new iPhone, I won’t have that issue anymore! I can update from any place that has a signal/wifi and have no reason to lag off again. During boring classes, I might blog about how boring they are.
But I would really like the chance to explain how Apple works:
-buy Apple product
-spend a lot of money
-sell soul to Steve and Steve
-become infatuated with the AMAZING features of said product
-become infuriated by instability of said product
-wish you had never bought the product/wish to marry the product
And that’s how it works. You may ask, “Is there really an app for everything?” My answer would be, “Duh.”
I have two phasers, a strobe light, piano, zen garden, and DDR on my iPhone. But guess how much I’ve spent in one week? $3.27. Yeah. I have a ton of apps and access to my dad’s credit card, but why bother when you have tons of free, space-consuming, soul-sucking apps?
This brings me to my Theory of Electroconnectivity.
If you by an iProduct, then it will become an external part of you. How? iPods, iPhones, what have you, function off electricity and your touch. Your touch has electric currents needed for it to function and after awhile, it begins to pulse with you rhythm and body. It becomes a part of you.
So don’t sleep within a foot of an iPhone, and take periodic breKs from iProducts. Like…three hours.
And iTunes sucks ass like a gay man who loves felching.
A Word to All Artists
Hello there, Artist! I’m quite aware that it’s been some time since we last spoke to each other. That’s my fault, really.
As you may or may not have noticed, Art has taken a turn for the worse. Why is this? Well, let’s take a look, shall we?
You are allowing anyone and everyone to call themselves an Artist. Here’s the problem: not everyone is an Artist.
Soulja Boy Tell’em? That is not an artist, singer, musician, or rapper. Yes, not even a rapper. He is a fool who doesn’t know a thing about life or hardships.
The last time I checked, rappers spoke poetry about life and hardships. Well, the good ones that are worth mentioning, anyways. I’m speaking of Nas, Eminem, Public Enemy, NWA, etc. Unless you have been on the receiving end of a gun, then you really shouldn’t open your mouth.
While we’re on this topic, let me address the rock-rappers. Fred Durst, Mike Shinoda, and that one guy. I don’t know who he is. For the sake of simplicity, think of a white guy (or simply, not black and not eminem) and insert him here. Corey Taylor is a good example!
They have not been on the receiving end of a gun, unless it was aimed at their own heads, a BB gun, or paintball gun. Not even air rifles count. One might ask, “why are they rappers?” well after awhile, people started to believe that you could rap about anything as long as you sounded good. This does work, but I fear it can only work for so long. Once people find out you have nothing to consider a real hardship, you get called a poser. No one likes a poser, Artist. Ask yourself: Am I a poser?
If you’re not sure, then you probably aren’t. Someone who defies that question automatically with, “i’m not a poser!” most likely is. It’s like the emo kid theory in reverse.
What’s even more sad is that many of these people were very talented and individual. They lost sight of their goal and did what they felt like doing, trying to make more money and fame. Some claim they can’t stay the same forever, which is fine. You’re allowed to improve, but not degrade, which is what has started happening. To be a sell out is bad; to deny being a sell out when you really are is even worse.
I know you’re wondering why I’m going on about rappers and posers and sell outs, but the reason is this: half of today’s artists are posers and sell outs! Write poetry, you can write a song. If you can write a song, you can sing and play an instrument. If you can write poetry, you can write a story. If you can write a poem, you can rap. If you can draw, you can paint a masterpiece and so on and so forth.
Someone sat down, wrote a piece of crap poem, was praised, and decided being an Artist is easy.
Whoever that nitwit was should be promptly attacked with sharpened quills and drawn and quartered.
Being an Artist is not supposed to be simple. That’s why Artists are praised! If everyone could do it, then the special effect of reading a short piece of fiction would be nothing. In fact, unless the reader is also an Artist, then they would feel nothing.
People have begun to look at money, sex, violence, and humor as entertainment. While all of the aforementioned can be entertaining, it is hollow without meaning. Even if something is about sex, it really isn’t.
“Poetry is a sexual experience between the writer and reader, and as with physical sex, some times you enjoy it, some times, you feel raped.”
That metaphor is sexual, but not about sex. It is about the relationship between the poet and reader. It applies to Art, really. Do you want the viewer of Art to feel raped? Of course not! Unfortunately, many people are being raped and quietly suffering without escape. They have grown so used to it, they don’t know what to do to stop it. These people are not Artists, so it is up to us to help them.
Reality television? Let us implement some reality television that actually provokes the mind: MythBusters. An Artist is an Artist, whether he is constructing, designing, and blowing things up just the right way, or painting, sculpting, and photographing.
Movies based on novels are horrible if approached the wrong way. Artist, please only write books too amazing to be constructed into film. If not, you will witness the death of a birth.
Music must speak to people the right way and make them understand. Music is here to broaden horizons, not narrow them. A person is supposed to mature in musical tastes and age, but apparently it is okay to be in high school and wear a panda bear back pack while watching Dora the Explorer. Artist, put an end to this with your music that calls children to grow into young adults.
Visual Artists have an obligation to create thoughtful, emotive works of art. Not stuff that is considered “cool.” have you really lost sight, Artist?
“Writers use lies to tell the truth. Politicians use lies to hide the truth.” this means you as an Artist have a responsibility to the public to inform, entertain, soothe, and appease them. If you do not stand out because of your style, then you have failed as an Artist and I condemn you to ten years of reformation.
You are an Artist, now act like it.
I’m glad we had this talk, Artist. I expect a check up in the next year or so. If you read this thinking you are an Artist, then stop fooling yourself. One or three crappy poems and/or songs are not Art. As Taking Back Sunday said, “those words at best were worse than teenage poetry. Fragment ideas and too many pronouns, stop it, come on, you’re not making sense now. You can’t make them love you when they’re all just laughing.”
An Artist has a reason and motive to be an Artist. An Artist wants to change the world and leave their mark in a positive way that lasts forever. An Artist never dies because their work is always remembered. Soulja Boy may last a generation or two, but like Jerry Lee Lewis, will be dismissed in time. DaVinci is still regarded as one of the best Artists ever, hundreds of years later. He is taught in schools. To recognize his work is a sign of intellect.
That is an Artist.
Prostitution
This topic brought to you by: Christine.
So I have more tea, therfore, I can be more serious only a smidge though.
Prostitution. I’m all for it. It’s one of the oldest businesses in the game. Sex for money makes so much sense, and in a way, we’re all prostitutes.
We have someone who bosses us around and forces us to do things we do/don’t like. We get paid for it and some protection.
We’re all whores, in a sense.
So why are we wasting tax-payer money by arresting pimps and hoes? Come on now. We tried to do the same thing with strippers and we saw how THAT worked out. Actually, it’s legalized now, so…
Yeah.
“But what about STDs?”
What ABOUT STDs? If prostitution were legalized, we would be able to regulate it. Mandatory, regular check ups.
“What about underage prostitutes?”
If it were legalized, then we would need background information and we could make the limit 18.
“It’s immoral!”
Yeah, know what else is immoral? Cheating on your spouse with someone…especially if you’re bribing/gifting them. So take that, you conservative, rich, lame-os.
So let’s legalize it. Know how much money would go into the economy with prostitution legalized? A LOT. Right now, we need to set aside “morals” and whatever else, because it’s hard out there for a pimp.
Yay Hustle n Flow quotes!
X
Go here → X
I’m going to bitch at him about not using his dA, now. He’s a great writer and photographer. Except, only people on Facebook know this. That’s…no.
I’m forcing him to use his dA again…or make a new one if he forgot his passowrd >.<
Et tu, Phoenix?
http://www.shareapic.net/View-17823910-Chester-Collection–Public-Appearances.html
Look at that piture and tell me who’s missing.
Give up?
Phoenix! Sweet, kind, Phoenix!
Now to critque them (I’m still off my tea, so…)
Mike: He looks pretty good in that hat and outfit. Almost makes you forget that he’s a TRAITOR! 
No, seriously, the grays suit him nicely. He doesn’t look a day over 30.
Joe: He gained weight again*sigh* and he was looking so good too. Not digging the outfit, but eh, that’s what I appreciate about Joe. His simplicty in style doesn’t scream “Sell out!”
Brad: What’s with the church boy act? He’s got his hands all folded and he’s standing prim and proper. Beard gone, Jewfro back. He looks like a fucking hobbit. Yes, a Jewish hobbit. Don’t question me as he attempts to mimic Bret McKenzie, the New Zealander hobbit!
Chester: Looks the same as he always has for the past…three years? He looks young, but like he’s pushing forty. I mean, he just LOOKS like he’s getting older, but trying to cling desperately to looking like he’s still 20. Not digging the manpurse/satchel/whatever the fuck that thing is, because it throws off his outfit. BUT his boots are fly.
Rob: Lost the weight again. Hmm…yummy Rob. Not so cuddly now but I’m still content with being chained up by him. The hair looks scraggly and he looks like he’s been hanging out with the “wrong crowd.” His hair is untamed, but his clothes are nice. Like Dave Grohl…or (dare I say it?) Kurt Cobain. *gasp*
So am I going to see Transformers? Only if someone pays for me.
Oh, but my bf/hubby/ex is coming back in town in July and he will give me his old LP shirt that is a) old from when his dad saw them live in HT days and b) waaaaay too big for me. I am okay with this though, because he smells good and I LOVE wearing big shirts. My dad’s neighbor’s son gave me his Crow movie shirt. It was that or the Addams Family and I chose the most badass looking shirt possible XD I’ve cut the sleeves and I’m going to re-stitch it to fit me better.
But it’ll still long 
So Linkin Park will never return to their old sound until they return to their roots and looks. This means…
- Send Rob and Brad to synagogue (and cut their hair and grow their beards)
- Send Mike to San Fernando valley and grow his hair and dye it…red.
- Rape Chester in the ass and dye his hair blonde. Also, shoot him up with meth and coke.
- Make Phoenix grow his hair past his ears
- Put Hahn on a diet
- Tell all the old fans that now are too old to be affected by their new music that Linkin Park is going on a hiatus and when they come back, they’ll be new men again.
That’s how you do it. They should take my word. Oh, and I only did this just for the hell of it. I’m not a judger of looks, otherwise, I’d say Phoenix is a terrible bass player cause he’s ugly. No, he’s a terrible bass player cause he IS (which is a lie, he’s pretty great ).
